Getting healthy

Doesn't it always happen this way. The straw-that-breaks-the-camel's-back that I need to convince me to do something happens when I'm least anticipating it. Yesterday, I was reading All & Sundry, and I determined right then and there to start making some life changes. Since Jenna was born, I've been lucky. I've lost all the weight I gained (and then some), I fit into all of my regular clothes, and breastfeeding has allowed me eat ridiculous amounts of food (I often eat more than my husband). I basically look like I did before. But I'm not nearly as healthy. Throughout my pregnancy I ate healthy meals and I exercised Every Single Day.

I don't like seeing myself in photos. I either avoid being in pictures, or I've deleted the ones where my faults aren't hidden. I want to get to the point where I don't feel disappointed with the looks of my chin/neck, upper arms, belly, and legs. Some parts of my body are just going to be the way they are, and to a certain degree I need to let go of the distorted image I have of myself. Over the years, I've improved significantly, but the eating disorder still has its bony fingers wrapped around my shoulders, whispering evil things in my ear when I look in the mirror. But I want to see what I can do to improve my body composition, and maybe I'll end up happier with how the parts look.

So yesterday I made some changes. Small, yes, but they're changes that I can stick with:

• I walk every day, but yesterday we walked faster. Today we're going to walk fast AND take a longer route.
• I drank three glasses of water. Usually I drink no water. None. I have two mugs of tea in the morning, and a glass of juice or tea at dinner. That's it. It's absolutely awful, and I know it needs to change. So three glasses went down just fine. Today I will at least do the same.
• I want nice abs. Today I started doing crunches. Just now I did 20. Holy mother that was hard. Baby steps, though. I like the way the soreness feels, and I'm going to do a few more sets tonight.

That's it for now. I will add in some workout tapes and healthier snacks (this afternoon I did put the bag of chips back in favor of a feast of baby carrots!) once I feel confident that I will stay committed to them.